Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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