shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
how drunk are you?
Several
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
