Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
