I want to make a zoo with you.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize