he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
