I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
