I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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