What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
