So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
