I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
