He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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