Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
