i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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