I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
