Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize