Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She tied me up with her honor cords...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize