You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
