You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
