i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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