Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
