david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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