shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
