farters have to be the big spoon...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize