Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
