When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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