I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
