It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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