It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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