So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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