finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
