WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
