dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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