ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
