idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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