Are we in a gay sports bar?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
