You can't special order awesome
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize