Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
