My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
