I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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