Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
