While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
