doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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