I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and she was petting her beer can
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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