Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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