would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
