where does the pee come out of this thing
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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