haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So apparently I’m into choking now
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