There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
