This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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