Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My life is pants optional.
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