i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Terrible idea I love it
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
