so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
