i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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