chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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