Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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