return my video game
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize