this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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