I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
