why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
it's like iHOP with fire
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
