Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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