I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
