you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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