You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize