theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
