she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
